re: Goals

As expected, I am often to preoccupied with the dramatics of day-to-day life (primarily tedious algebra homework...bah...) to participate in this blog as much as I would like. But trust me, I keep up with all the wonderful writings of my dear friends and collaborators, and enjoy and wish for all the continued success and happiness you create for yourselves.



I mentioned in a few entries back in my Goals to Complete in 5 Years, that I would like to be published in a respected fine art magazine. I'm ecstatic to say that this winter season I'm not only published in one fine art magazine, but two!


Tom Lane's photograph is published in Carrie Leigh's NUDE Winter 09 issue on the very last page in the "Nude Around the World" section.



And traveling companion and good buddy Dave Levingston's Mountain Stream photograph is getting published in the Jan/Feb 09 issue of French PHOTO, which you may have already read about on his blog.



I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to work with these talented photographers in helping to create beautiful art, and so proud to share these successes with them!

+++

I finally got to see Shakespeare on the real stage last night! For Matt's birthday, we went to see "The Two Gentlemen of Verona" at the Guthrie. It was also my first time at the new Guthrie as well, so that was quite pleasant. The roles of "Valentine" (Sam Bardwell) and "Proteus" (Jonas Goslow) we played superbly. But the most spectacular performance was portrayed by "Julia" (Sun Mee Chomet). I highly recommend it, Minneapolis dwellers!


Alright, off I go again to do the tango with Algebra...

Presence

Walk along these weary leaves with wisdom in where your internal compass directs you. You know not of where you're going, but from the experience of where you've been, you don't worry. Light flows and weaves in every which way, casting shadows off the obstacles you must dodge. They are dim, but lure you. You wonder of the explanation for why something so dark can be so appealing. We are children in the world of the unknown. We draw towards that which fascinates us. The fascination, however, should be towards the distance, not the darkness. Head fast towards that which is bright. There is no time which need be wasted in the unsubstantial weakness of the mind, of the shadows. Be open to the environment that surrounds you, for only a closed mind is dark. Only ignorance is dim. Reach out to the motions and the knowledge that swirl around you and embrace them in your pace towards the distance. Looking to the past is yet another dismal approach to the stride you lead. You only fall when you do not observe where you are walking. The colors that flow around you is another sign that everything will come for a reason. Only when your past dissolves to the presence of the future must you be alert. However, you will know when and if that happens. For you are not in control of anything but yourself. You are in control of how you are handled and how you handle. Know that. Be wise in your journey to the never-ending distance.





__________

Self-portraits and prose.

Torn

After I finish my final for Psychology later this afternoon, I will be on my winter break until January 12. This semester went really well, and I made a lot of great friends in choir. Next semester will be much harder, as I'm upping my credit load to 15 credits, compared to this last semester of only 9 credits. I'll be taking College Algebra, Chamber Singers, Technical and Professional Writing, Intro to the American Economy, and Nutrition.

All my choir performances these last two weeks were amazing. Yep, I'm tooting my own horn. It felt wonderful to sing all semester, and it's a wonder to me how I didn't realize how much I missed it until I was back into the full swing of practices and performances.

...and I miss posing, twisting, stretching, emoting, balancing, concentrating, performing... I miss it all. Once in a blue moon I still get to create lovely pieces.

I'll bombard you all with a series that Matthew Scherfenberg and I created less than a month ago. You'll get to see 5 selections from these in the 2nd annual "Nude in Minnesota" show (hosted by Stephen Haynes) later in the spring.












I suppose I better get back to my studying, as I only have 3 hours until I have to take my last final!

I hope everyone is having a happy holiday season!

I just

Barack-ed the VOTE!


(Happy Dance!)



Now it's your turn! Get out and VOTE!

It's Mid-terms...

...and a real update is mandatory.

It should be no surprise to me that its the middle of October, and here in the Twin Cities we are smack dab in the middle of fall. The brilliant colored leaves and the brisk air remind me everyday. It's just hard to believe how fast these 7 weeks back in college have flown by. I guess time really does fly when you're having fun.

My Intermediate Algebra class, the one that I dreaded the most when the semester started, is going fantastically. Really! We've had two tests so far, and I've gotten A's on both of them, including a perfect score on the most recent one I took last Friday. It's truly amazing how a good instructor can change your perspective on and motivation in a subject.

Likewise for a bad instructor. I wont say that my Psychology prof is bad, but he is not engaging whatsoever. I get more enjoyment reading the textbook than going to lectures. I don't skip those classes though, because if I started that cycle, I would not stop, and I'm not a fan of just throwing my money away. So I just try to stay as attentive as I can, and if that results in a few lectures where I'm being bored to near sleep, so be it. This is not to indicate that I'm doing bad in the class, by any means. I also got an A on our only test to date, and there is an opportunity to do a large extra credit assignment, just in case I get a B on any of the subsequent tests.

Choir is still the highlight of my week. Every week. Chamber Choir is obviously my favorite, but Concert Choir still has its charms. An extremely annoying, absolutely tone deaf bass that sits immediately to the left of me has turned from a painful experience to a hilarious event each class that us Sopranos laugh and bond over. Yes, I realize this is a bit insensitive, but my theory is that if you want to sing and be in a choir, you should at the very least be able to match some pitches. I don't care if you can't sightread or determine intervals, but by golly, at least be able to match a pitch or two with the rest of your section!

Chamber choir is starting into the performance season, and we have our first mini performance for 400 high school students tomorrow. I've very excited for it, but not excited for getting up two hours earlier than my norm. Ah well. These things require sacrifice.

Besides sacrificing my previous overload of free time to homework and studies, I've also been sacrificing it to a newly acquired job at Best Buy. Yay electronics. All kidding aside, it was about time that I get a freakin' job, and I'm excited to be learning new things and have new challenges. Maybe I'll try to work in the Digital Imaging department after a few weeks, because from what I can gather, I know more about cameras (at least DSLRs, its hard to keep up with all the cutsie features that the P&S's have) than most of those department employees.

Speaking of cameras, if anyone is wondering... yes, I do miss being in front of the camera. Correction: Yes, I do miss being naked in front of a camera. I feel as though I've hit a plateau, however. (Which is another component of why I'm taking a break from modeling for a while, besides the primary reason of continuing my studies.) I know that I can do infinitely more exciting, evocative and artistic work, but I've become so goddamn picky about who I want to work with and trying not to replicate any of the work that I've done before. I feel like the only way to significantly expand and enhance the work I've already done is to travel to the photographers I want to work with. This is very hard in our state of the economy. Most artists do not have the extra income to fly a model out to where they are, not to mention provide food and lodging. And I completely understand. If only I had a million frequent flier miles, I would be one happy traveling art model.



____________

Stephen Haynes.

It's amazing to think how Stephen has shaped my modeling. He has always pushed me to create depth and true artistry in the images I help create, and taught me how to convey emotion by pure body language and position. Thank you endlessly, Stephen.

Goals to Complete in 5 years

It's a big list, but definitely attainable, and I'm sure I will add more.



Fine Arts:

* To get published once in a fine art magazine (Carrie Leigh, Black & White, French Photo, etc.).

* Model for some of the brilliant photographers on the west coast.

* Go to a real Opera.

* Go back to New York and see a real Broadway show.

* See and participate in a lot more theatre.

* See a Shakespeare production.

* Participate in one Slam Poetry session.

* Take tons more pictures and develop my "eye".


Physical Exercise/Activity:

* Run in Grandma's Marathon.

* Go skiing.

* Skydive.

* Rock climb.

* Hike up a mountain.


Singing:

* Participate in the Two Rivers Chorale.

* Participate in the U of M Chamber Singers.

* Get back into voice lessons and put on a Senior Recital.

* Participate in two years of the N.A.T.S. contest.


Academics:

* Figure out if I really want to do Nutrition.

* Participate in the Undergraduate Research Opportunity Program.

* Get (at least) a B average in all Chemistry courses.

* Study abroad for at least a semester in a french speaking country.

* Graduate from the University of Minnesota, (at least) Cum Laude.

International Photography Awards

I am sharing 3 honorable mentions in the 2008 International Photography Awards!

Two of Gary Breckheimer's ("Sacrifice in the Park", and "I lost MY..."), and one of Peter Bajzek's ("Spine").





I feel so grateful to have contributed my part to create just a little more beauty and artistry in this world, no matter how small.

Classes, Cakes and Computers

I'm starting into the third week of classes, and routine is starting to comfortably settle in. Including (gasp) homework. Which, considering the schedule I'll have even next semester, is cake. Really bland cake, but still cake. I'm taking Intermediate Algebra and Intro Psychology.

Then I registered for Concert Choir, and took a shot at auditioning for the Chamber Choir, and made it in! It's a far cry from the quality of choirs I was in in H.S., believe it or not, but after being out of singing for over 2 years, I am quite happy with where I am starting up again. It will provide me with a great foundation to audition for other community choirs, and the Concert Choir and Chamber Singers at the University of Minnesota when I transfer there in a year or so.

Speaking of cakes, it's my dear Grandma's birthday today. She's 69, and as lively, happy and rambunctious as ever. Happy Birthday, Gram.


I finally got my computer, wiped clean and as good as new, and its up and running. I'm in the process of loading all my modeling pictures from CDs and off the web. It gives me the modeling itch...

...which is slightly satiated by looking at the prints Dave Levingston just sent me from our trip out west. They make me absolutely giddy, and tremedously proud of our work together.

Many of you have probably seen this posted on Dave's blog, but I'm sure y'all wont mind to see this splendid image he captured, once again.

evaluate

Everyday we must evaluate ourselves and the situation we're in, and then act.

Sometimes we take the wrong action, or no action at all.

And most of the time, the consequences to those actions show up far later then when we actually do the action.

And most of us do the action that will provide the most pleasurable consequence first, regardless if that same action has a worse consequence in the farther future.


I'm wondering if my modeling, although its been a very rewarding experience, will turn up to bite me in the ass later on down the road. Maybe I'll decide that I want to teach or work with children. As much as I'd like to think that our world will become more progressive in the view of nude art, I know that somehow, someway, some misguided, ignorant parent or school official would find pictures of me and I'd be s.o.l. for a job. And I wouldn't even blame them.


I wonder how many bridges I will burn with my shortsightedness.

And how many times I will go through the cycles and the motions.

And how many times I will just have to accept life as it comes. Including what actions I take, because they all seemed like a good idea at the time.


My pursuit is not for happiness, but for peace. To be at peace, happiness will irrefutably follow.




________________________

Matthew Scherfenberg.

school

It's official: I've been accepted and can start classes this semester!

I'm going to keep my course load small and easily managable this first semester. I have to take a math course, and I want to take either Anatomy and Physiology or Intro Psychology.


Classes start Monday.


That is all for now.


w00t!






____________________

self-portrait.