Saturday, September 18, 2010

chocolate + loveliness

The trip is going fantastic. I'm so, so, so happy I could make this happen.

For the first part of my trip, I'm traveling with the gorgeous, wonderful, and superbly talented Stephanie Anne. She is a delight to hang around with and to work with.

We met up in Pennsylvania and worked with Scott Nichol and Bill Earle, worked with Steven Billups in Delaware today and we're ending our travels together on Monday in Baltimore with David Hilton. It will be bittersweet, because I know we'll meet and work together again, but I just don't want to part ways.

But for the second part of my trip, which will be just under a week long, I'm going to a truly beautiful location, with two of my most favorite people in the world, and I'm meeting up and working with another talented model... but I'll just leave that a mystery until my next post.

Until then, here is some Chocolate Polaroid goodness of Stephanie and I, courtesy of Scott Nichol.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Off I go...

Tomorrow morning I skip town for a week and a half!

Toooooo excited. I need this, for many reasons.

The great thing about my job is that, not only is it my job, but its my passion, and I am so lucky that the people I work for are almost always the most awesome people on the planet. It's work AND play. I am blessed.

Not only that, but on this trip I'll be meeting and working with two models who's work I've respected for a long time. AWEsome.

I'll blog on the trip, for sure... how often, I do not know.

But I'll leave you with a self-portrait.

Until next time, dear readers, take care.

Friday, September 10, 2010

life is hard... let's control it.

Perception is everything. You've heard that here before, and perhaps from several other sources. It is truth, sometimes a very hard-to-swallow truth.

Perhaps that's one of the reasons why I like photography so much. Photography has EVERYTHING to do with perception, and visa-versa. Perhaps I've said that before too.

I'm starting to get ready for my upcoming travels to the East and to the U.P. of Michigan, and starting to plan for travels in the late fall and winter. As I'm in the midst of mentally preparing myself, because its been many months since I've traveled, I've been noticing a little bit of trepidation. I've been very conscious of this, trying to figure out where it's coming from. I love flying, I love meeting new friends, I love going to parts of the country I've never been before, and of course, I love creating art. Clearly, the positives vastly outweigh the negatives. But I'm prone to worry. My first subconscious instinct is to find things that could go wrong - possibly to mentally prepare myself for problems, for failure. Even when every detail of logistics is figured out, there is always room for unexpected changes that are out of my control. And I think that's the real issue. Not being in control.

Control has so many veils of security. "If I am in control of this, or that, I will feel and be safe." It alleviates a sense of helplessness. And helplessness can be scary. The only thing you can ever control is your emotions and reactions to situations, everything else outside of yourself is out of your control. Period. Now, sometimes you can manipulate situations or people to get what you want... and I believe that's what fuels this obsession. Because sometimes it works! And if you're particularly talented at those skills and/or in a position of high authority, they might work a lot. But in the long run, especially if you're pushing for the wrong reasons, they will be detrimental.

I prefer trust. Trust that everything will work out okay. Because it always does. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't believe anyone should just sit back and do nothing to change a situation, especially if it's harmful to you. I'm talking about when you come to a wall that you can neither go around or knock down. The serenity prayer comes in handy here.

I'm in the middle of a particularly hard personal situation with a loved one. I desperately want to control it, to change it, to get the unwanted factor(s) out of their life and my life. And the first few days, hell, the first few weeks were horribly hard. Half the time, I was (both unconsciously and consciously) pulling out all my childish tactics to make it go away. The other half, I was purposely denying the issue / lying to myself, pretending that it wasn't even in existence or that it would go away. Then, when I couldn't lie to myself anymore, and I was tired of being a baby, I got on my pedestal spouting the morals of societal homogonies and ethics of popular opinions and methodologies. Woe is me! You're hurting me! You're making me feel this way with your actions/choices! For a very short time, I even tried to get a third party on the bandwagon (who was already on, but I thought "strength in numbers.") Then... hypocrisy slapped me hard in the face. And the realization that, although this is so very hard, if I learn to accept it I will have a much easier time continuing the very important relationship than if I resist it. So I've been accessing all the resources I can to understand it. And, low and behold, I have much more peace with it. I'm still not happy about it, by any means, but I am coming to terms with it. And all I can do is take a leap of faith, and trust that these unwanted factors will not harm the relationship I have with my loved one.

It's a huge leap of faith, and it is possible that I wont make it to the other side, but I'm proud that I have the courage to jump... instead of cowering in fear, sadness and anger.


Self-portrait. In-camera double exposure.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

To the Chicagoan

This post is dedicated to my friend Jordan, a now resident of Chicago. She was just going to be there for the summer and come back to Minneapolis, but some opportunities arose that compelled her to stay in the area for good. She came back this past week to get some things in order for her permanent move. We spent some time hanging out, and then, of course, we had to squeeze in a shoot together.

To my friend in Chicago, may life bring you only great things, and new, exciting opportunities.

Next time, we'll meet up and visit - in your town. It will happen soon.

Much love to you, friend.


Matthew Scherfenberg.