Friday, August 1, 2008

Cracks, Strains, Trojans, and Restlessness

I'm home!

Dave Levingston and I had an extremely successful and fun photo trip. If you kept up with Dave's blog the last two weeks, you've read and seen some of the exciting (and some not so exciting [i.e.: the air conditioner]) highlights.

I would have kept up with my own accounts of the trip, (probably not with the same amount of frequency) except that my laptop has reached the pinnacle of uselessness. I cannot open any of my programs on my computer except for the internet browser, the viruses have blocked me out of my google services (my email, and having the ability to post or see/leave comments on other bloggers) although I can still access them from other computers, but worst of all... I have no control panel in which to operate any administrative controls. Nothing, poof, gone. I have tried downloading anti-spyware, anti-viral programs to no avail because I am unable to run any ".exe" files. It's my fault I let it get this far.

There's only one solution. Crash the whole fucking thing and re-install XP.

But how do I crash it if I have no administrative controls? Uncle Greg, please help!

Today I received my first crack in my windshield. Thank you large, random pebble gone AWOL. You've made my day.

I am broke. Broke as broke can be. Brooke is broke. Brooke needs to get a job. Anyone know of any awesome coffeeshops in the Twin Cities that are hiring?

Anyway, I am glad to be home with the family and friends. Unfortunately, my anxiety has also returned and reared its ugly, worrywort head and is inflicting it's usual havoc. Usually its just internal irrational worrying which I have learned how to keep better in check, but when its paired with its best friend, restlessness, I feel literally as if I'm a cat on a hot tin roof with no way down. woo!

I know its all bullshit, but its really fucking hard to get past.

So is cussing, apparantly.

But you know what helps right now? Reading Crazy Wisdom, a book Dave gave me halfway through our trip. It reminds me to take a deep breath, relax, and not take life so seriously.

Rinse, lather, repeat.

And I need me some sushi and plum wine with Erin. sigh. Safe travels sweetie. I'll find my way over there soon.

Thank you to my friends that have been so patient and kind to me. You are all my heros. Really.

"Since everything is but an apparition, perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter."
- Long Chen PA, Tibetan Meditation Master.


Stephen Melvin.
K Leo.

They have iconic, unique signatures and talents.

But then again, the artists I aim to collaborate with the most, always do.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I believe I will check your blog weekly. You have gained my interest. :)